


An Angel's Soul

by kpiet (Yventide), slarmstrong



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angels, Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-20 15:38:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3655704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yventide/pseuds/kpiet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/slarmstrong/pseuds/slarmstrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cole had everything: a great education, his own company, money, and Daniel, his lover since college. But in gaining everything, he lost the one thing he'd been building that life for: Daniel. Now that Daniel has moved on, Cole is without direction or purpose. Turning to alcohol and drugs to fill the void left behind, Cole dives head first into a downward spiral, unaware that there is another who loves and cares for him.</p><p>As Cole's guardian angel, Raziel has watched Cole since birth, and his love for his ward is deep and abiding. Witnessing Cole's fraying life breaks Raziel's heart, and when the thread that binds them together wavers during an overdose, Raziel breaks all the rules just to keep Cole alive. The consequences are unthinkable, but a life without Cole is a loss that Raziel simply can't conceive. An angel's soul was made to love, after all, and if he saves Cole, perhaps he can show Cole how the end of one great love doesn't mean another waits patiently for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Angel's Soul

Raziel frowned as he paced his ward's living room. How many times was Cole going to do this to himself? His wings fluttered with worry as he watched Cole kick back another glass of the very expensive—and very potent—booze. This had become a dangerous and nightly ritual for Cole, and Raziel wasn't quite certain how to alter Cole's course. It was his job, right? Put his charge's feet on the right path and guide them from beginning to end. He'd been doing just that for the last fifteen hundred years.

Which led him to the unnerving question of why was he having such a difficult time of it now?

Cole leaned back on the couch, his eyes drooping and clouded from the alcohol. He picked up a framed photograph and stared at it for a long time before he threw it across the room. The glass shattered as it hit the hard wood of the bar. Cole didn't bother with a glass at this point. He picked up the bottle and began to drink in earnest. Raziel's wings fluttered again. This wasn't right. It was Daniel who should be drinking, should be heartbroken, not Cole.

Daniel. He'd been the start of this whole mess. Sweet, mind-mannered Daniel who had stood beside Cole through their years at Dartmouth. Considerate Daniel, who had loved Cole even when they barely had two pennies to scrape together. Daniel, who had been the ideal partner for Cole in every respect. Their families had adored each other, supported both Cole and Daniel. Everything had been theirs as Cole shot up the corporate ladder. _Everything_ awaited them.

Selfish Daniel who couldn't keep it in his trousers. Vicious Daniel who had done everything he could to shift the blame of the infidelity onto Cole. Cole's late nights. Cole's business trips. Cole starting his own business. Cole's success. Daniel had claimed Cole took him for granted, and Raziel had to admit that, yes, maybe, just a little, but Daniel's betrayal...

Raziel crouched in front of Cole, resting his hands on Cole's knees. Cole couldn't see him. None of his wards had ever been able to see him. He'd never wanted to be seen, but now... now he wanted to be seen. He wanted to touch. He wanted to soothe. He loved Cole. Raziel loved Cole in a way that was forbidden and new and thrilling and frightening. He wanted to wipe the pain from Cole's eyes and ease his soul's burden, but that was not his place.

His place was to watch. To guide silently.

"I'm sorry," Raziel whispered. "I'm so sorry, Cole. I just don't know how to put your feet on the right path, away from Daniel."

Daniel wasn't coming back, but Cole hoped. Raziel knew Cole hoped. Daniel had been the love of Cole's life, even if Cole hadn't been Daniel's. Cole's heartbreak was Raziel's, and Raziel didn't know how to patch it all together. All he knew was that Cole now walked a dark path. Alcohol and anguish and fury. He didn't know how to fix it, but he knew he had to. Somehow, he had to find a way, or he would lose Cole forever.

***

"Daniel," Cole murmured into the phone. "Come home; we can fix this." How many times had he said that over the last three months? Even to his own ears he sounded pathetic. "I love you."

Daniel sighed on the other end of the line. "Cole, stop calling. Let this end before we really hate each other."

"I'd never hate you," he insisted. "Never."

"I have to go." Daniel's voice was tight. "It's _over_. I'm sorry it's ended the way it has, and it hurts me, too, to see the last ten years end like this, but it's done. While you moved up, I moved on, and it's time to just... just _stop_."

"Daniel—"

"Goodbye, Cole."

The line went dead. Cole slammed the phone down, his chest aching with such intensity, he wondered how the fuck he survived. He stumbled over to the bar and yanked one of the bottles of vodka out of the cooler. Just stop? How do you just _stop_ loving someone? That was what he needed to know. Because despite Daniel fucking around on him with a number of men before settling on Lindsey, Cole still loved him. He still loved him, wanted him, and needed him, and Daniel... Daniel had moved on.

He knew calling again would just get him another clipped reply followed by the dial tone, but if he could get Daniel back on the line, he'd ask _him_ how to stop loving. Daniel obviously had some practice, and he wanted to throw it in Daniel's face almost as much as he wanted to beg Daniel, yet again, to come back. It was useless, though. If he kept calling, it would only force Daniel to change his phone number or send Lindsey after him. He had no idea what attracted Daniel to the stupid lug, but he knew that stupid lug could beat the shit out of him. It just added more fuel to the anger, the hurt, the damn helplessness that made him take a long, burning swig of vodka straight from the bottle.

Vodka wasn't enough, though. It had been the first few nights, maybe even the first week, if he was generous, but every failed attempt to get Daniel to come back seemed to dampen the effect. He had to do something about it. He had to get away from his heart, from the work he'd poured so much of his life into, work that now felt hollow and worthless. It wasn't worth staying sober, and if alcohol wasn't doing the trick, then he knew exactly who to call.

It took three tries to dial the right numbers on the phone, but when he was certain the sequence on the screen was right, he pressed the plastic to his ear and waited until there was a voice on the other end of the line.

"Boss? It's nearly two in the morning. If this isn't _insanely_ important, I'm hanging up and going back to sleep."

"Shut up, Rob," Cole all but snapped, squeezing his eyes shut before taking another swig of vodka to bolster his courage. "That drug you took that night we took off to party on the business trip. You remember the trip I'm talking about, right?"

There was silence for a few seconds, and then Rob slowly, hesitantly drew out the response. "Yeah..."

"I want you to get some of it for me. None of that shitty stuff you can get on the street corners that's cut with who knows what, but the pure stuff. Whatever you shell out, I'll pay you double for." Cole knew that was a damn good offer, and it kept his hands clean to use Rob as a middleman. At least that's what he told himself as he waited out another silence with yet another swallow of alcohol.

"It'll take me a few days, boss, but I'll get you what you want."

The words were careful and hushed, and he wondered for a moment if Rob's wife had woken up next to him and started listening in. He wondered if she knew her husband had connections with drug dealers. Or was she completely clueless, just like he'd been about Daniel's cheating? He almost laughed. Let her keep her delusion. Better to see what one wanted to see rather than the ugly truth. "Good," he finally said into the phone. "Call me when you have it."

He hung up after another gulp of vodka, not even bothering to set the phone back into its charger. He let it fall to the floor as he tipped the bottle higher, and the sound of it clattering against the expensive hardwood panels seemed to echo as his head swam, all his problems drowning in a sea of booze and drunken forgetfulness.

***

"Cole, stop this!" Raziel paced back and forth in front of Cole's desk in his home office. "It's crazy. Crazy! You'll kill yourself. You don't want to die." He stopped and turned to face Cole, who was intently cutting cocaine and setting it into neat lines. "You don't even know what you're doing! Couldn't you have at least asked Rob to _show_ you how to use the stuff?"

But Cole couldn't hear him. Cole had never heard him. The alcohol, the cigarettes, and now cocaine. He growled and slammed his hands down on the polished surface of Cole's desk. "Daniel isn't worth this! Cole..." Cole rolled up a fifty dollar bill, took a swig from the whiskey bottle, and then set the edge of the rolled up bill to one of the lines of white powder. Raziel thought he would weep as he whispered, "Please, Cole."

Cole ran the bill up the line, inhaling sharply, and then sat back, sniffling, rubbing his nose with his fingers. Suddenly, Cole laughed, staring up at the ceiling, and flailed for the whiskey. He missed the bottle, and it fell, crashing onto the floor, the glass shattering, the booze spattering everywhere. Cole blinked and leaned forward, putting the rolled up bill against the next line... and the next... and the next. After a moment, he stood up, stumbled, and fell onto the rug over the hardwood floor. His laughter broke Raziel's heart.

Raziel knelt on the floor beside Cole, stroking his hair back from his sweaty face. His wings fluttered, and he chirped softly, worry twisting his stomach. Cole didn't look well, and the glassy expression in his eyes pulled at Raziel. Something wasn't right. Cocaine and alcohol, he was almost certain, shouldn't be mixed. This wasn't his precious charge. Cole was intelligent, beautiful, kind... not an embittered alcoholic ready to piss away his money on drugs!

"Cole!" Raziel had never wanted to be visible like he did now. He could feel something tenuous in Cole fluttering, the connection between them fading in and out. Cole was dying. Raziel's wings fluttered again as panic set in. "Cole! Don't! I can't... there's no one I can call! No one can see me! Cole, please... you're... you aren't supposed to die yet..."

Cole wasn't listening, though, and that connection started growing dimmer. Raziel looked up to the heavens through the ceiling, whispering a prayer. He couldn't do anything to help Cole. Interfering with life and death was strictly forbidden. When a charge refused to follow the direction of their guardian angel, the angel was never allowed to take matters into their own hands. God had granted the humans free will, and while they could work their influence, whisper advice into their minds, they couldn't force their own wills or the will of the Divine onto them.

The connection flickered like a flame, growing dimmer and dimmer. Oh, God, it was almost out! Raziel chirped again, his wings extending. He couldn't let this happen. He couldn't! Cole was the only charge he had ever felt so much for. From beginning to end, he'd loved Cole. _Loved_ him! It went beyond any ward before. That love was deep, terrible, and now Cole's life flickered. He couldn't lose all he felt, couldn't lose Cole. If he only had time, only had the chance to speak to Cole, to be _heard_ by him. But there was no chance for him to speak to ears that would listen. If he didn't act... In a split second, he made up his mind. He was out of time.

He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his hands to Cole's chest. He'd do anything to save Cole. He'd endure any punishment the archangels demanded and face God's wrath if he had to, but Cole would live. The power was inside him to purify, to wield the divine fire. He had used it in the past to cleanse his charges' souls right before he accompanied them up to heaven to be fully judged. It was power only used after death, but he needed it _now_ , before that thread of their connection severed forever.

A bright glow emitted from his hands, growing stronger and stronger until it completely enveloped Cole. Inside, he felt the burn of fire, but it was familiar to him, the small part of the Divine that he always carried inside him. It was that little piece of Heaven God had entrusted to him, and he used it now to eradicate the alcohol, the cocaine, even the hints of tar that had collected in Cole's lungs from the cigarettes.

It left Cole pure, untouched by any of the toxins he had forced into his body throughout his life. He could sense the wholeness of Cole, and the connection between them flared brightly, reassuring him before the power left him in a rush. His wings drooped, and he chirped weakly, his voice trilling as he panted, "Cole..."

Raziel felt his arms give out beneath him, and he faltered, his wings flapping in an uncoordinated effort to move him off Cole's still form. He'd never felt so tired, so weak, and while the connection to Cole was strong again, he felt the rest of the world slipping away. Everything blurred around him, and before he could manage to gasp another prayer, the world went black, and he felt himself falling into nothingness.

***

Cole groaned as he shifted on the floor, a beam of sunlight across his face. His back and head hurt, his muscles stiff. What the hell had happened? He slowly sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. Rob. Rob had brought him some coke. Had he overdosed? Or had he just passed out? If he'd overdosed, wouldn't he be dead? Maybe he was dead and this was Heaven. Or Hell. He didn't much like the idea of Hell being his apartment, which smelled of stale cigarettes and booze.

He looked around, noting the shattered whiskey bottle and the angel asleep beside—

Angel?

Cole stared at the naked creature beside him with massive white wings. That was an angel. Angels weren't real, though. He rubbed his eyes again, but when he opened them once more, the angel was still there. Maybe there had been something in the coke. Maybe Rob hadn't gotten the good stuff after all. He reached out and ran his fingers along the feathers. Christ, he'd never felt anything so soft! The wing shivered under his touch, but the angel didn't move.

It was real. The angel. Was real. Angel. In his apartment. Maybe that was why he wasn't dead. He brushed the angel's blond hair back from the perfect, beautiful face. Male. He had an unconscious, gorgeous, male angel sprawled on his office floor, and his mind didn't quite believe it. Cole cleared his throat and gave the angel's shoulder a little nudge.

"E-Excuse me," Cole murmured, his voice rough. "Hello?" A pained flutter of a sound escaped the angel, and he hesitated to touch again. He didn't see any wounds on the angel, but maybe his touch was a little too hard. He swallowed thickly and, as gently as possible, pet over the blond hair and the feathers. "Are you all right? Come on. Wake up."

The wings shifted, and another of those bird-like sounds twittered from the angel, followed by a soft moan. Cole's heart jumped up into his throat, and he scrambled back a little, dodging the feathers of one wing as it lifted and flapped. A sudden pain jolted up through his hand, and he cursed under his breath. He'd forgotten about the broken glass, and now he was paying for it. The cut wasn't too terribly deep, but it stung like a motherfucker, and he cradled his hand against him.

"Cole..."

Cole's eyes widened, and he tilted his head, looking around the arched wing to the angel's face. He watched as the angel's pale lashes fluttered, and when they lifted, he glimpsed blue eyes brighter than any he'd ever seen. How did this angel know his name? He fought against a rising panic, against thoughts that maybe this angel was here to bring him his death. But then, if that were the case, wouldn't the angel have had a more dramatic appearance? That's how it always was in the movies; ominous mists and beams of light from above were a lot more intimidating than an angel passed out on his office floor. Still, he felt as if the world was about to drop out from underneath him. Getting his voice to work was a challenge, but he finally managed to choke out, "Who are you?"

The wings around him twitched, and he froze in place as the angel frowned and pushed himself up onto his outstretched arms. Their eyes met, and he stared, feeling as if he could drown in the depths of those eyes if he allowed himself. "You can see me?"

The angel's voice was musical, and Cole's heart trembled oddly at the sound of it. He nodded in answer to the question. "You're an angel." That was stating the obvious. He shook his head and tried again. "Why are you here?"

A smile as bright as the sun itself unfurled on the angel's face. "You're alive."

Cole couldn't look away from that smile. "Am... I not supposed to be?"

The angel slowly sat up, his wings fluttering, and the smile faded, replaced by such sadness that Cole's heart ached to see it. "How could you be so careless?" the angel asked. "Drinking, smoking, and then drugs? I've been at your side since you were born, and the _one time_ I needed you to hear me, you were deaf to my voice." Tears gathered in the bright eyes. "Daniel isn't worth your life."

The reminder of Daniel brought up every angry and heartbroken emotion in Cole. "Daniel _was_ my life. Everything I did was to give him anything... everything."

"But he wanted _you_. He didn't need a highrise apartment and limitless credit cards and expensive clothes. He needed _you_ , and you weren't here for him." The angel reached out, grabbed Cole's bleeding hand, and worked the glass out of his palm. "Daniel has found someone who needs him as much as he needs them. It's time for you to find a new purpose."

Cole blinked and looked down at his hand, the pain gone. He stared at his palm. The glass was out and the wound healed, only a sliver of a scar left. He eyes sought the angel's. "Who are you?" he whispered.

"I'm your guardian angel." The angel's wings shivered. "My name is Raziel, and I am going to be in such trouble for saving you."

"If you're my guardian angel, aren't you supposed to save me?"

That sadness returned to Raziel's eyes. "I'm not supposed to upset the balance of life and death. But I couldn't let you die. I _couldn't_."

"So... you broke the rules. For me." Cole tilted his head, the flesh of his wrist where Raziel touched tingling. "Why?"

Raziel withdrew his touch, a light flush coloring his alabaster cheeks. "I love you."

That took a moment to sink in, and Cole shifted awkwardly. An angel loved him? This was like some crazy dream, waking up from a really bad hit on the head and an O.D. to be greeted by his own personal angel. It didn't make sense. Except for the part where he really did take too much of everything and had probably needed help. There was glass everywhere from a shattered bottle, and a quick glance over showed that he _had_ snorted all those lines of cocaine. He didn't feel as though he had any alcohol or drugs in his system at all. It was unsettling to say the least, but it _did_ make sense, and that scared him. Was he supposed to keep talking to the angel or admit that he was having some kind of psychotic break?

"You have a lot of questions," Raziel murmured, "but it's real. I'm real."

The angel had at least one thing right: the questions probably wouldn't stop anytime soon. He had to get his bearings, get a grip! He ran his hands through his hair, not feeling any pain from the scar where he'd just cut himself. He had to start somewhere, and with every other option sounding ridiculous to his mind, he let himself just believe it was all real. If all Raziel said was true, then it made his first question simple. "Is that... normal for guardian angels? To love their humans?"

Raziel curled one wing in closer and picked at a couple of the feathers, looking up bashfully through blond hair. "Not the way I love you. What I feel is deeper than what most angels feel for their charges."

Cole wasn't sure why satisfaction rolled through him, making his gut feel warm and settled instead of twisted in knots. It loosened his tongue, made it easier to organize his thoughts. "Why am I not freaking out? I should be losing it, seeing an angel on my office floor, but I feel... better."

Raziel chirped and let go of his wing so it could flutter. "Because you know who I am. Somewhere inside, you already know me. You've heard my voice inside you sometimes, that little voice that tells you to turn away from darkness and take a different path, even if it isn't the easy road to follow."

It was Cole's turn to flush. He knew that voice, all right. "I've rarely listened to you."

A flap of Raziel's wings puffed a gust of wind through Cole's hair. "I know. You should more often. I try to help."

Cole managed to get up onto his feet. He expected the world to swim, for his head to pound, but neither happened. But, his mouth did feel like something had died in it. He thought about making a Bloody Mary, but Raziel's wings fluttered, his brow furrowing. "You know what I was just thinking about doing," Cole murmured.

"The alcohol won't help anything." Raziel sighed. "I understand your heart hurts. Daniel meant so much to you. His betrayal hurts. Let it hurt, Cole. You need to mourn his loss, but you also need to let him go."

Pain stung through Cole. "He might come back."

Raziel shook his head a little. "No. Daniel has put his feet on a new path, and it leads away from you. You must find your path now. You won't walk it alone." He smiled. "I'll walk it with you."

Cole walked over and helped Raziel to his feet, and his cheeks darkened a little as his eyes took in the sight of Raziel's body. Naked body. He licked his lips. "Are you going to go all invisible again?"

"I... don't know." Raziel looked around himself. "I shouldn't be visible now. I've never been visible to a human before."

"Is it just me? Can anyone else see you?" Cole asked with a frown.

Raziel's cheeks pinked, and the color just made him all the more handsome. "Again, I don't know. I'm your guardian angel, no other's. If your maid were to walk in right now, I can't say for sure that she would or wouldn't see me like you do."

Cole sighed. His own guardian angel, and now he was stuck with it. This had to be some sort of cruel joke, some play of the cosmos giving him a dose of his own medicine. Hadn't he suffered enough? He'd already been through the worst break-up in his life, and now there was an angel standing in front of him, probably about to knock shit over with those huge, beautiful wings. Cole squeezed his eyes shut against the strange moment of attraction and crossed over to his bar. When he paused and simply reached for the decanter of water, he heard Raziel chirp approval at him. The sound didn't help the odd twisting and churning inside him.

The water went down smoothly, though it didn't have the effect he would have preferred from a good, stiff drink. He looked over at Raziel, who watched him with a smile, his wings fluttering and folding in close to his nude body. Cole couldn't help but scowl. He was going to be guilt-tripped out of every form of comfort he had. No booze, no cigarettes, no drugs, just some angel who could read his thoughts and pretended to know what it was like to have his heart ripped from his chest by the person he loved most.

Cole clenched his jaw and went back to cleaning up the mess from the night before. His maid didn't need this kind of headache first thing in the morning, and the fewer people who knew he'd O.D.ed and passed out on the floor, the better. His head began to ache, the first sign that anything at all was wrong with him, but it was nothing compared to the hurt that still raged in his heart. He would have chosen oblivion over this, but it seemed the Big Man Upstairs wasn't listening.

***

Frowning, Raziel looked around the meeting room Cole dominated. The men and women around the table had their eyes focused on Cole and what Cole was saying. Raziel didn't understand a lot of it. Something to do with apps and Facebook and dating services and things that Raziel couldn't fully grasp. That was all right. He wasn't here to learn more about Cole's job. His ward had founded his own company at twenty-five, become a millionaire, and had everything he could want materially. Material things, though, wouldn't fill the void left by Daniel.

Raziel walked around the room, his wings fluttering. The men and women couldn't see him. Cole's eyes occasionally glanced his way, so Cole could still see him, but his employees couldn't. It was strange. It didn't make any sense to Raziel. Why could Cole see him? Had saving his life altered the veil between ward and angel? He'd never heard of that happening. Then again, he hadn't heard of many angels doing what he'd done. Most angels loved their charges, but they didn't _love_ them. Not like Raziel loved Cole. His heart fluttered in his chest as his eyes were drawn to Cole.

Strong. Beautiful. Broken. Cole drew him in time and again, made him wish for things an angel should never wish for. A kiss. A touch. A sweetly whispered word. To be pressed into the sheets as Cole used to press Daniel, to know the pleasures Cole and Daniel had known together... Raziel flushed and looked away from Cole, stared out the highrise's tinted windows over the city. It was cold outside, and Raziel shivered. To love one's ward was encouraged. To be _in love_ with one's ward was forbidden. But he couldn't help what his heart wanted. He closed his eyes against the misty, gray landscape outside the window and twittered softly to himself.

A touch to his shoulder sent him spinning, his wings flaring out as he came face to face with Cole. The room was empty, the blinds between room and hall drawn. Where had everyone gone? Had he been so lost in his thoughts he'd _missed_ the end of the meeting? God help him, he was becoming careless. "Cole."

Cole's brow was furrowed slightly. "You seemed engrossed in the view."

"Lost in thought," he whispered. "I apologize."

"No news from on high, then? No orders or punishment or... anything?"

Raziel fluttered his wings and shook his head. "No. It appears no one can see me except you, and whatever punishment is coming, it hasn't arrived yet."

"This whole thing is fucked up," Cole muttered, leaning back against the edge of the conference table. "You deny me the escape from my pain, you are suddenly visible, and now I'm supposed to magically move on and find a new path?"

It didn't sound positive at all when Cole said it in that tone, and Raziel felt his wings droop a little. He couldn't give up hope, though. He couldn't allow Cole's pain and pessimism to get in the way. Cole had to grieve, and maybe the anger was part of that. "At least now you don't have that pesky, gnawing need for those cigarettes," Raziel offered, trying to focus on the positive. The comment made Cole's eyebrow twitch, and the thought he glimpsed in Cole's mind made him laugh softly. "Smoking one just to spite me would only start blackening your lungs again. I prefer you clean and whole."

Cole sighed and kicked aimlessly at the wheels of one of the rolling chairs tucked beneath the table. "You prefer me alive, too." Raziel whistled cheerfully at that, and the sound brought the smallest of smiles to Cole's face, which he decided was a very good reaction indeed. "Seems to me that your wants have a certain power. You wouldn't have been able to save me, otherwise. Just what else do you want?"

"I only want you safe. Alive. Happy."

"The first two you seem to have managed," Cole murmured, running his fingers through his hair. "Happy, though..."

Raziel chirped softly. "Happy will come with time."

"I was happy with Daniel."

"No," Raziel murmured. "You weren't. For six months before he ended it, you suspected he was with someone else. You lied to yourself, just as he lied to you. You pretended to be happy in the hopes it would become the truth, but it didn't. It was a house of smoke and wishful thinking."

Cole crossed his arms. "You really know how to make a man feel good about himself."

Raziel tilted his head. "Is that what you wanted? More lies?"

Slowly, Cole shook his head, his beautiful eyes focusing on Raziel. "I don't think you lie very well, anyway."

"I don't see the purpose. It would only hurt you in the end. I... don't want to hurt you," Raziel said, his wings quivering a little. "I love you."

"You keep saying that."

Raziel smiled. "It's the truth."

"You love me."

"Yes. I love you enough to change the order of your life so you can live that life to its fullest," Raziel said, clasping his hands in front of him. Only when Cole was able to see him had he become more aware of his nakedness. "I didn't want to see all your potential lost because Daniel was selfish."

Cole shoved off the conference table and came to stand just inches from Raziel. "Are angels selfish, too?"

A flush stole across Raziel cheeks, and his eyes drifted down toward Cole's perfectly shaped mouth. He'd seen that mouth pressed to Daniel's lips countless times, caressing every part of the man's body. Raziel swallowed, eyes darting up to meet Cole's. "I was selfish to bring you back," he admitted. "I am not certain other angels share my flaw."

"Flaw?"

"Daniel's selfishness hurt you, as does mine. It's a flaw."

A small smile tugged at Cole's mouth. "Maybe, in you, it isn't such a flaw."

Raziel couldn't help it. The compliment brought a hesitant, sweet smile to his lips. "I love you," he said again. "It broke my heart to think of you dead and beyond my reach. Even if it is only for thirty or forty more years before you pass on to the fields that await humans, it's thirty or forty more years I am allowed to love you, be near you."

"Such devotion." Cole's fingers stroked down Raziel's cheek after a moment's pause. "I don't deserve it."

Raziel shivered, unable to look away from Cole's eyes. His voice was softer, a little breathless as he murmured, "Yes, you do. You deserve to find the one who will walk through life with you, always wishing for your happiness while supporting you through your trials and encouraging you to achieve your potential. If you search, I know you'll find that person, someone who is everything Daniel couldn't be for you."

Cole leaned in just a little closer, and Raziel forgot to breathe. He could feel Cole's breath against his face, smell the mint of his toothpaste and the coffee he'd been nursing throughout the morning. Cole paused there, hovering so close to him, that little smile still curving his lips, and just when Raziel began to search for something else to say, Cole whispered, "Strange that I should have to search when I can find all those things in you."

Raziel felt his heart leap in his chest, and he'd never wanted to kiss Cole more than in that moment. He arched his neck ever so slightly, yearning to press their lips together, but it wasn't proper. That thought kept him from closing the entire distance, even if he couldn't help but lean toward Cole. He was almost embarrassed by the spark of recognition he suddenly saw in Cole's dark eyes. Cole had read into his movement, could probably even read the desire on his face. He was too open. After so long being invisible, it had never occurred to him to learn how to school his features properly.

His wings shifted as he began to right himself, but taking a step back was made impossible when Cole's fingers moved from his cheek back to cup the nape of his neck. His eyes widened at the intimate touch, and his skin prickled in the most wonderful, unusual way. He was right in the middle of a twittering sound when Cole closed in, pressing their lips together in a kiss so gentle, so chaste, that it left Raziel dizzy, like the floor gave way beneath his feet, sending him floating.

Cole slowly pulled back, his breath teasing Raziel's wet lips. "Am I going to hell for lustful thoughts about an angel?"

Raziel laughed, his wings shivering with the sound. "No."

"Good."

Cole drew him into another bout of kissing, and though Raziel knew he should stop it, should push Cole toward another human that could fulfill his needs, he found himself being selfish. He wanted Cole. He wanted these kisses, the taste of Cole on his tongue, and a chirping purr filled the air as he sagged against Cole, allowed him to kiss him until both their heads were spinning.

***

Raziel perched on the foot of Cole's bed, watching his charge sleep. The kisses had continued throughout the day, stolen whenever Cole was alone with him. Returning to the apartment, he'd tried to give Cole space to think, but by the time Cole had eaten and showered, the kisses had resumed. Only kisses. Raziel brought his fingers to his lips and smiled. He could still feel and taste Cole's lips against his. The kisses had made his heart race and his body tighten in ways he'd not felt before. He wanted more. He wanted to know the sweaty pleasures he'd witnessed between Cole and Daniel in the past. Raziel didn't think Cole would love him as he'd loved Daniel, and just the thought made his wings droop.

Cole shifted, and Raziel's focus came back to the present. He took a peek inside Cole's mind, and the flashes of thought and emotion made him chirp softly with concern. A nightmare. He hated when Cole had nightmares. It meant there was much going on in his soul that Cole was pushing away. It also meant there was little he could do to help. Cole would have to come to terms with Daniel's departure in his own time, of course, but he couldn't just bury everything inside indefinitely.

Raziel leaned a little farther over the bed, closer to Cole, using his wings to balance him. "Oh, Cole," he whispered. "You have to grieve. You have to feel the pain so there can be room for future pleasure in your heart."

A rumble of sound escaped Cole, and Raziel reached out, brushing the back of his hand tenderly over Cole's cheek and stubble. It was the touch he often gave when Cole was sleeping restlessly, and it had the usual effect of quieting him down, letting him relax in the sheets. Raziel smiled, the touch lingering perhaps a little longer than was necessary.

He nearly fell off his perch when Cole's eyes fluttered open and locked blearily with his, and he jerked his hand back to steady himself on the foot of the bed frame, a little chirp of surprise leaving him. "Cole..."

"Raziel? I was dreaming... and then you were there," Cole mumbled, his voice still gravely with sleep. The sleepy smile that came to Cole's lips made him blush a little. "I couldn't see you, but I knew it was you. Made everything better."

"It was just a dream," Raziel insisted with a gentle flap of his wings. "You can go back to sleep now." Cole shook his head, and Raziel frowned when Cole reached out.

"Come here."

Raziel carefully unfolded his wings and legs, stepping from his perch down onto the softness of Cole's bed. "Is something wrong?" he murmured as he knelt atop the covers right next to Cole.

"I just want you closer. You don't have to stay balanced on my footboard all night. I'd rather you be under the covers next to me." Cole lifted his head some, and Raziel's heart threatened to pound right out of his chest as he was drawn down into another kiss. How many times had he wanted Cole to wake up and kiss him just like this? He could count more times than he would feel comfortable admitting to any of his superiors in Heaven.

One moment he was held in Cole's arms, moaning softly as Cole thoroughly kissed him, and the next he was beneath Cole, he wings pressed to bed and his thighs parted for Cole. Raziel twittered into the next bout of kissing, his body hardening against Cole's already erect sex. The moment Cole let him take a breath, he let loose a chirp and forced Cole's eyes to meet his. "What are we doing?" he whispered.

Cole caressed his cheek. "Let me make love to you."

Raziel's wings shivered under his back, and his fingers slid into Cole's hair. "You're sure? I mean, you're awake and know I'm... _me_ , right?"

A soft laugh puffed against Raziel's damp lips. "Yes, I know it's you," Cole murmured. "My guardian angel. Saved me from myself."

"I love you," Raziel said, unable to help himself. It was the simple, honest truth. Somewhere along the line in his duty, he'd fallen in love with Cole.

Cole brushed his hair back and smiled down at him. "I know," he said. "Maybe, in time, I'll be able to say it in return, but... not yet, Raziel."

"When you're ready." Raziel rubbed himself against Cole. "If you're ready. For now, my love for you is enough."

Then there was more kissing. Raziel thought he would be happy with just this, just the kissing and intimacy of their naked bodies. But, that wasn't what would make Cole happy. He felt Cole shifting atop him, reaching over, and then Cole broke the kiss with a curse. Raziel chuckled, tracing his finger along Cole's collarbones. "Problem?"

"Just trying to be casual about reaching for the lube, and it's not where I left it."

"It's in the second drawer down. You put it there last week after you spent time with yourself," Raziel offered helpfully.

Cole lifted an eyebrow. "You watched?"

A flush crept over Raziel's cheeks. "I watch everything, Cole."

"Everything," Cole echoed, shaking his head and crawling a little to get into the drawer. "Waiting for something to go wrong? What's going to happen while I'm jacking off? Electrocution by prostate massager?"

Worry rushed through Raziel, and his wings fluttered. "That can actually happen?"

Cole laughed as he righted himself and pushed Raziel gently, but insistently, down to the sheets again. "No. Calm down. I was just making a joke."

That brought a smile back to Raziel's lips, and warmth replaced the chill of worry. "Joking is good. You haven't joked since Robert began working for the firm six months ago. You only joke when you're happy and comfortable."

The insight seemed to throw Cole off, but the color that came to Cole's cheeks made Raziel feel good. Only Daniel had ever been able to make Cole blush like that. Well, only Daniel and Cole's mother, but the latter hadn't happened in a couple decades, so he wasn't about to count it. Cole's voice was soft as he leaned down for another kiss, which Raziel gave eagerly. "You make me happy and comfortable, then. You also make me hard."

"And that's something you want me to help you with?" Raziel twittered, unable to keep the hope and need from his voice as he shifted up against Cole.

The way Cole ground their cocks together was answer enough, but the kisses didn't hurt, either. Raziel lost himself in the sensations, in the taste, the feel, the scent of Cole. When slick fingers found their way to the entrance of his body, he couldn't help but tense and grip Cole tightly with his hands and thighs until Cole pulled back with a panted, "You've never...?"

"Never!" Raziel gasped.

A slow smile curved Cole's lips. "Good to know now." He peppered soft kisses along Raziel's lips, cheeks, and throat. "We'll go slowly, hmm?"

Raziel moaned as Cole's fingers began to circle that sensitive flesh between his cheeks, pressing inward gently, but insistently. His heart thudded in his ears, and he was soon returning each kiss Cole gave him, his fingers tangling in Cole's hair. When that first finger slid inside him, Raziel tensed, whimpered. "Cole..."

"It's all right," Cole groaned. "I won't hurt you."

"I know." Raziel knew, deep in his angelic soul, that Cole would never bring him harm. But, he remembered the first time Cole pushed his sex into Daniel's body, and discomfort seemed to be the price one paid for the pleasure promised. "I trust you."

Cole smiled against Raziel's lips. "Why is it that I believe you so easily?"

Raziel chirped, his wings shifting against the bedding. "Because you know I've been here your whole life. I know you. I know _all_ of you, good and bad, and I still love you."

"Why couldn't Daniel say that?" Cole whispered.

Heartbreak filled Raziel, and he cupped Cole's cheek. "I'm sorry you hurt," he murmured, and he wanted to ask if Daniel would forever be between them, even when they made love. Perhaps the pain was in his eyes because Cole kissed him then, deep and passionate, and that finger within him began to move once more.

The pain in his soul seemed to lessen with each strong thump of his heart as it began racing again. The newness of Cole's finger inside him banished any worries or misgivings from his mind. All Raziel could think of was the passion he could feel in each of Cole's movements. The strange discomfort began to morph into a deeper pleasure, and the sensation of fullness as Cole added a second finger was so intimate that he couldn't help but arch and cry out.

He didn't understand the need to move with Cole, the intense need for more, but Cole seemed to read his heart in an instant. Cole left him breathless with kisses, and he couldn't make heads or tails of Cole's shifting until he caught sight of the knowing glint in Cole's eyes and felt the slick bluntness of Cole's sex prodding where the fingers had just left him. "Please," he panted up against Cole's lips, desperate for things he had seen but never felt.

"Shh," Cole soothed, brushing Raziel's hair from his eyes. "Nice and slow, I promise."

It was the moment Raziel had waited for. The moment he had allowed himself in his deepest, most secret fantasies. Cole's hand skated down his body, steadied him, and he stared into Cole's dark eyes as he felt Cole shift forward. His body stretched, opened, and he didn't fault Cole for the pain as they finally joined. His wings trembled, and Cole's lips found his again. A fluttering sound of discomfort escaped him, but it was answered with the most beautiful moan he had ever heard from Cole. There was pleasure, affection, and need in that one sound, and Raziel knew he would replay it over and over in his mind for eternity. That single sound comforted him in a way nothing else could have, and he felt his body relax, accept Cole deeper until he was filled completely.

It was a singular sensation. Cole was inside him. Filling him. Raziel let loose a breath, the softest of twittering, and Cole smiled against his lips. That smile. Tender and sweet. He remembered those smiles. He'd not seen them in so long, and to be the source of this smile now... oh, he couldn't think of a better gift. His fingers smoothed down Cole's back, and the muscles shifted under his fingertips as Cole withdrew a little and pressed back inside. Raziel's breath caught, his own cock straining between them. His wings wanted to flare out, but their combined weight kept his wings close to the mattress.

There were no words, and none were needed. He could see everything he needed to in Cole's eyes. Between kisses, the sharing of breath, Cole would stare down at him, and Raziel knew Cole knew how great a thing he gave now. His love for Cole welled inside him, hot and potent, and it was as if every long, slick thrust of Cole's sex did nothing but fan that heat. Burning inside and out, Raziel chirped angel song, and as his fingers dug into the meat of Cole's back, tears shined in Cole's eyes. A hopeful tweet shivered from between Raziel's lips, and Cole bent down to cover his mouth to taste him once more.

The lovemaking was slow, just as promised, and Raziel's toes curled along with his wings. The pleasure wove in and out of his senses, and the gasps and breathy groans Cole fed into their kisses did nothing to dampen his need. The kisses took on a hungry edge the minute Raziel began raising his hips, meeting each of Cole's thrusts, welcoming him so deep within his body. Hands were a little harder, the rhythm a little faster, and Raziel's heart raced, pounding loudly in his ears, offering the counterpoint to the angelic song he kept offering up whenever Cole's lips trailed down his throat.

It was Heaven, his own personal moment of Heaven, as light and pleasure overcame him. Nothing but the presence of the Almighty could compare, and for that moment, he lost sight of God, seeing only Cole, only their mutual pleasure. When he came back to himself, he could hear his own angelic song still echoing in Cole's bedroom along with Cole's shout of release. The light faded slowly, the heat receding until it only remained inside his passage and in the lingering tingles that jolted across his skin.

For a few moments, all he heard was their panting breaths, but then a flutter of a whimper escaped him. "Cole..."

"Stay with me," Cole whispered, his voice desperate in a way that broke Raziel's heart, even as he tightened his grip, holding Cole even tighter against him.

"Always," he promised, his voice trilling with a purr of lingering pleasure. "I'll never leave your side."

The words seemed to quiet whatever fears Cole felt, and Raziel twittered softly as they shifted, their bodies parting with a final wet caress. He'd never understood emptiness until that moment, but Cole instantly tugged him onto his side and pulled his arm until he was spooned against Raziel's chest. He'd seen Cole sleep with Daniel this way in the beginning, and his wings fluttered out behind him before curling in, one at his back and the other protectively around his charge. Cole cuddled back against him, refusing to let go of his arm, and the strange ache of Raziel's soul was soothed by the closeness.

He smiled and kissed Cole's shoulder. "Sleep," he breathed with another kiss to Cole's neck. All he received was a rumble of wordless agreement before Cole became heavy against him, but his heart still soared with pleasure and happiness. All these nights, he had watched Cole sleep—thousands upon thousands of nights—but tonight he wasn't perched on the footboard or sitting in the chair by the windowsill. Tonight, he had Cole in his arms, and he would carry the memory with him forever.

***

"Do you remember what happened when angels and humans last coupled?"

Raziel sat up, his mind heavy with lingering slumber. His eyes scanned the room and fell upon an angel, bathed in Holy Light, standing near the windows, his wings outspread and arms crossed. He swallowed thickly, a flush creeping up his face. Raziel knew who had come to level judgment on him. "Chamuel."

Chamuel smiled at him. "Do you remember, Raziel?"

"I remember." Raziel glanced at Cole's sleeping form, the human unaware of the angels' conversation. He slipped from the bed, refusing to talk with Chamuel while holding his ward in his arms. "But he is no woman for me to seed and breed giants with. Where is the harm?"

"Where is the harm?" Chamuel shook his head. "Raziel, they are our charges. We watch over them. We do not kiss them. We do not couple with them. We do not _prevent their deaths_ when the natural order says they are meant to die."

Raziel's wings shivered at the reprimand in those words. "If I am not supposed to intervene on my ward's behalf to save him from himself, then what am I supposed to do? Watch him die when I could help?"

"There are _limits_ to our calling." Chamuel stepped closed, cupped Raziel's cheek. "You have broken many rules, my friend, and you cannot escape punishment. Was it worth it? Was he worth it?"

Pain tore at Raziel's heart, tears filling his eyes. He looked over his shoulder at Cole, and he remembered his whispered promise to the man before sleep had taken him. He couldn't fight Heaven, though. Raziel didn't _want_ to leave, but Chamuel would make him. There wasn't much choice. For angels, there was never any choice. He drank in the sight of Cole, and whispered, "Yes. It was worth it."

The sound of fluttering wings filled the room, and then there was only the soft sounds of an apartment at night. The refrigerator kicked on, humming softly through the wall, and the toilet ran for a moment, filling its tank. The air conditioner clicked on, the unit nearly silent as it pumped cool air into the many rooms. Cole rolled over in bed, mumbling softly in his sleep as his hand reached for warmth he missed in his dreams, but the warmth was gone. The sheets were cool, the room empty but for its sole occupant, and even in his sleep, Cole knew something was missing.

***

Cole couldn't help but wince at the way his front door shut behind him. The sound was resolute, like the clang of some prison cell slamming shut, locking him inside. Solitary confinement, that's what it all felt like these days. A wave of loneliness welled up in him as he went through the motions of hanging up his coat and keys, removing his tie, and unbuttoning the top three buttons of his shirt.

He kicked off his shoes, letting them scatter haphazardly as he tossed his briefcase to the sofa and padded into his bedroom. He paused on the threshold, his eyes wearily scanning the room as they had every day for the last three weeks. "Raziel?" he murmured uncertainly, hoping, praying for some sort of response.

But there was no answer to his call, no guardian angel perched on his footboard, no smile and bird-like chirp of pleasure waiting for him. Only the silence of his bedroom greeted him. The longer he waited for Raziel to answer, the more the quiet ticking of his wall clock seemed to hammer the harsh reality of his solitude into him. He couldn't stop himself from trying, no matter how much it hurt his heart each day to reach out and find there was nothing left for him to grasp.

He turned on his heel, unable to stand the sight of his empty bed, which had felt too large to sleep in alone. Back in the living room, he paced for a minute, caught between hurt and anger. What the hell had happened? Raziel had appeared right when he'd needed someone most. Raziel had saved his damn life, told him to have faith and not give up hope, to search for that path away from Daniel that would heal him. In such a short time, the angel had wormed his way into Cole's heart, but the morning after they'd made love, he'd woken up alone, as if the whole thing had been a dream.

Cole paused in his pacing, glancing back at the hallway that led to his bedroom. Maybe that was it. Maybe the whole thing had been a dream and he'd just been fucked up by the cocaine and hallucinated his guardian angel. It was a painful thing to believe, but the alternative made his chest ache even worse.

If he hadn't hallucinated the whole thing, then Raziel had lied to him. He'd just started to feel alive again, to feel like he could recover from the heartbreak of losing Daniel. To lose Raziel as well, right on the heels of Daniel, was just too much. He'd tried to stay strong, tried to push back the hurt of waking up alone, and give Raziel a chance to appear or at least make his invisibility known. But the last three weeks of turning his head at every bit of birdsong and hoping in vain had taken their toll.

There was nothing left for him. Raziel had known him inside and out. Maybe Raziel had finally found something inside him not to love, something that made him worth abandoning. After all, the common denominator of all his problems was _him_. Maybe he just wasn't worth saving.

Cole swallowed against the lump that formed in his throat and crossed the living room to his liquor cabinet. It was too easy to pour himself a generous glass of bourbon, far too easy to kick it back and hiss at the burn of it traveling down his throat. He waited for the little voice in his head to appear, for someone to stop him, but there was nothing. No voice, no disapproving twitter and concerned flutter of wings, just silence. He grabbed the bottle of bourbon and went to the couch.

Daniel was gone. Raziel was gone. Everything seemed up in the air, but there was one thing Cole knew for certain: another glass of bourbon would take the pain away. Not forever, but for tonight, and that was as far ahead as he wanted to plan.

He was halfway through the bottle of bourbon when someone knocked at his door. Cole narrowed his eyes, tried to make the numbers on the clock focus through the haze of alcohol. Ten o'clock? Who would be at his door at ten o'clock at night? He stumbled to his feet, made it to the door, and leaned against the wall. The room spun for a moment, and then he was able to force his fingers to work, to twist the deadbolt and open the door. He stared at the figure in the hallway, his mind not believing what his eyes saw.

"Raziel?" Raziel was dressed. He was _dressed_. T-shirt, jeans, and a pair of sneakers. No wings. And he was smiling. "What the hell?" Cole slurred.

"I go away for a few weeks and you return to alcohol." Raziel huffed softly and crossed his arms. "I can't save your liver this time around, so you'll have to take better care of yourself now."

Cole blinked. "What? Where the hell have you been? Do you know what it was like waking up after what we'd shared to find you _gone_? Not a word, a note, anything?"

Raziel's expression wilted, and he twittered gently, stepping into Cole's apartment and shutting the door. "I didn't have a choice. Chamuel came for me. I'd broken so many rules, Cole, and I had to face my superiors. I had to face the consequences of my actions."

"Consequences?"

Raziel helped him to the couch, and then sat down with him. "Consequences." He smiled, and Cole thought his heart would break with how beautiful Raziel's smile was. "I saved your life when I shouldn't have. I became visible to you. I admitted I loved you. I made love with you. I broke all the rules."

"So, you were grounded for three weeks?" Cole asked, his head still swimming, though he was quickly sobering up.

"No." Raziel laced their fingers together. "Do you love me, Cole?"

"I thought I didn't," Cole breathed. "When you first appeared and I was longing for Daniel, I thought I couldn't love anyone but him. But when you were gone that morning and didn't come back... All I could think of was you."

Raziel smiled again. "Do you love me?"

"If I don't, I damn near do," Cole admitted.

"Good." Raziel kissed Cole's knuckles. "I had to make a choice. I could be reassigned to a new life while another angel took over my position, or..." He paused, flushing. "Or I could let them take my wings, make me human, to live out my days with you."

Cole's heart pounded in his chest. "You're... not an angel anymore?"

Raziel shook his head. "No. An angel's soul in a human body. I didn't know if you could love me, if you would keep me, but the idea of never seeing you again, touching you... I couldn't choose any other way."

Cole stared. He wasn't sure how long he stared at Raziel before making his lips work again. "But, what happens... y'know... in the end?" If Raziel had an angel's soul, then that would make him immortal, right?

Raziel chuckled and shook his head again, squeezing his hand. "I live a human life, and then—provided you lay off the booze enough not to keel over—we both end up in Heaven once we die."

Cole couldn't help but smile. "Trying to keep me on the straight and narrow?"

"It's been my job from the very beginning. Being human doesn't change that," Raziel laughed, following the sound with a musical twitter that made Cole's heart swell with happiness. Raziel was truly back. He'd given up everything and come back. Cole reached around with his other arm to pull Raziel close, hugging him so tightly, Raziel made more of those gorgeous bird-like sounds. "It's all right, Cole. Everything will be all right."

Cole's eyes stung, and he didn't have the willpower necessary to keep the tears back as he breathed in Raziel's scent and ran his fingers through Raziel's blond hair. "I have so many questions."

"So do I," Raziel admitted softly. "Watching humans live is very different from living as one. I'll need your help."

"You have it," Cole promised instantly, sniffling and grinning. "But now isn't the time for Twenty Questions."

"It isn't?"

Cole shook his head, pressing his cheek against Raziel's for a moment, whispering into Raziel's ear. "Now is when you make up for flying off without leaving a note."

He heard Raziel swallow thickly, and the shifting of Raziel's jaw next to his told him Raziel licked his lips to stall for another second. "I'm sorry, Cole. I told them you wouldn't understand, but they insisted. How do I make it up to you?"

It's the question Cole had been waiting for, and he straightened enough for their eyes to meet. "You can start with a kiss. Your very first welcome-home kiss."

A becoming flush moved over Raziel's pale cheeks, and then his hands cupped Cole's cheeks, drew him down for a soft, chaste kiss. It had to be one of the most erotic kisses he'd ever been given, even with the lack of tongue and teeth and passion. What Cole felt in that kiss was far beyond lust. A promise was in that kiss. Even at his lowest, when he thought nothing good was left in his life, Raziel had been there. Raziel had caught him, raised him up, and had even sacrificed his angelic life in order to return to him. In that tender meeting of lips, Raziel told him everything he needed to hear without a single word spoken.

When Raziel's lips parted and his tongue sought entrance to his mouth, Cole thought he'd come in his trousers. He moaned, wrapped his arms around Raziel's waist, and pulled their bodies together. Relief washed through him. Raziel was his again. Cole had no intention of letting the angel go again. In the course of just a few days, he'd fallen utterly in love with his protector, and he didn't regret a moment. He smiled against Raziel's lips, his hands moving over the thin cloth of Raziel's shirt.

"I'm going to enjoy dressing you in the finest fabrics," he murmured.

Raziel twittered, his lips damp and eyes bright. "Why?"

"Because then I'll have the immense pleasure of undressing you." Cole grinned, the melancholy of the last seven months seeming like just a bad dream. "Come to bed?"

"Yes," Raziel breathed, following him into the bedroom. "I missed you so. I worried."

Cole pulled Raziel's shirt up and off, throwing it into the corner. His hands slid over the lightly golden skin, his thumbs teasing Raziel's nipples. Raziel gasped, shuddered, and his hands tightened on Cole's hips. "You were right to worry," Cole murmured. "I thought I was alone again, and the memory of you was as much a torture as it was a comfort."

Another apologetic chirp left Raziel's lips. "I really have to help you relearn to stand on your own two feet. Your life is worth so much, even if it were to be lived alone."

"But that won't be a problem," Cole reminded him with a grin, loving the way Raziel's hands crept to the buttons of his shirt, flicking them free of their holes. "I'll never be alone now that you've returned."

"True... and I'll fit in your shower with you now," Raziel said with a hesitant smile.

Cole lifted an eyebrow. "Another fantasy you've been waiting to act out?" Raziel nodded, and he laughed, pulling Raziel in for a kiss that started out light and sweet but quickly deepened into something more. Raziel pushed his shirt past his shoulders, and he stripped out of his work clothes, leaving them behind in a trail from the door to the bed. He delighted in tumbling Raziel into the bed, and while he missed the beautiful wings his angel had boasted, it was easier to move about without them.

Raziel joined in his laughter, and the sound only added more heat to Cole's arousal as he tugged at the simple worn-in jeans still standing between him and Raziel's body. Raziel wriggled until Cole was able to pull the denim down his legs, and then purred when he ran his hands broadly up and down Raziel's torso. "You act like you want to touch all of me at once," Raziel moaned.

"I would if I could," Cole admitted, draping himself over Raziel and shuddering at the heat of Raziel's skin. "You're so warm."

"That's... from the purification as I was placed in this form," Raziel whispered against his lips, kissing him again and again. "Chamuel said it would eventually fade."

"Not too soon, I hope," Cole murmured. The warmth was wonderful, not to mention convenient with a cold winter ahead of them.

Raziel smiled and hugged him close. His hands skated over Cole's body before gripping lightly at his ass. "I'll keep you warm at night," he promised, as if reading Cole's mind again.

"I have no doubt," Cole breathed, and then he covered Raziel's mouth with his. He could hardly believe Raziel had come back. Not only had he come back, but he'd given up so much just to be with him. The sacrifice rocked Cole to his very core. He'd never thought he'd be worth that great a price to someone. He moaned into the kiss, rubbed his body against Raziel's. Maybe he shouldn't immediately pounce Raziel like this, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted to celebrate this moment, give to Raziel even a fraction of what Raziel had given him.

The kisses took on an edge of hunger, and Cole's hands slid over Raziel's body, mapping every curve, angle, and sensitive spot. Raziel cried out against his lips as Cole's fingers rubbed and plucked at his nipples. Cole took that opportunity to lick and suck down Raziel's throat, hone in on the pounding pulse under the hot flesh. As he tormented Raziel's nipples, he set to leaving a bright mark on the elegant throat. A wave of possessive need drove Cole. Raziel was his now, given into his care, and he needed to let his angel know he was wanted.

"Cole!" Raziel gasped, arching up into him. His hands clutched at Cole, and his nails bit into his skin when Cole sucked harder at his throat.

When Raziel's pulse pounded against his tongue, the flesh so damn hot under his lips, Cole finally pulled back. He kissed Raziel again, their cocks trapped between their shifting bodies. Cole couldn't remember the last time he was so aroused. His heart raced, and his skin tingled everywhere it touched Raziel. He panted into Raziel's mouth, their lips wet and bruised from all the kissing. "I want you," he murmured.

Raziel opened his eyes, the bright blue so like the summer sky. "Please," he breathed, spreading his legs wider for Cole.

Cole reached for the bottle of lube he'd kept on the bedside table since their first night together. As much as he wanted to take Raziel immediately, he couldn't bring himself to be that impatient and brutal. Not with Raziel. No, Raziel deserved the kisses, the lingering touches, the slippery tease of lube. He deserved all the foreplay that separated making love from hard, careless fucking.

He kissed his way down Raziel's body, taking the time to renew the ache of Raziel's nipples with his mouth – first one side, and then the other. His slippery fingers massaged against Raziel's hole before he gently pushed two forward. Raziel whimpered and arched beneath him, and he could almost imagine Raziel's wings spread out against his comforter, the feathers fluttering with need and discomfort. He paused, remembering that this body was new for Raziel. The thought that Raziel had never been touched, both as an angel and as a human, pulled a soft groan from him.

"I love thinking I'm the first to have you," he breathed as he brushed his lips down Raziel's abdomen, darting out his tongue for a quick lick to Raziel's naval. "That I'll be the only one to ever touch this body in passion."

A soft, chirping cry escaped Raziel, and he felt Raziel's fingers tangle in his hair, encouraging him lower. "It makes you feel possessive?"

"Yes," Cole all but growled, nipping at the sensitive skin just below Raziel's bellybutton. A little tug to his hair made him look up, and the smile on Raziel's face was as bright as the sun.

"I'm yours, Cole. All yours. There will never be any other for me. I know it in my very soul." Raziel whispered the last, his voice overcome with emotions Cole couldn't quite identify. It was beautiful, though, the way Raziel put so much of himself into every word, every action. He smiled before dipping lower, taking the head of Raziel's cock between his lips as he pushed his fingers deeper.

The sounds Raziel emitted were like music to Cole's ears, and he lost himself in the pleasure of tasting Raziel with little flicks of his tongue. He teased under the foreskin with his tongue, wringing desperate cries from Raziel. His fingers moved, spreading Raziel bit by bit, and by the time he felt Raziel was ready for more, they were both panting hard. When Raziel pulled him up for another kiss, he didn't hesitate to comply, letting his fingers fall away so he could slick and position himself.

Raziel cupped his face, forced their eyes to meet. It was an intimacy Cole hadn't expected, and he was shocked by how intense just staring into Raziel's eyes was. He didn't look away as his hips shifted forward, breached the clutching muscles, and slid inside the blistering heat of Raziel's body. As much as he'd loved Daniel, still missed him, what he'd seen in Daniel's eyes paled in comparison with what he now saw in Raziel's. If he were honest with himself, it's what he'd always longed to see in Daniel's eyes. And all along, it was Raziel, the one who'd watched and protected him since the day he was born, who would love him as he'd wanted to be loved.

As soon as he was seated deep within Raziel, he let out a shuddering breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He brushed his lips over Raziel's. "I want to love you," he whispered.

Raziel's fingers combed through his hair. "You're a careful man." A flush stained Raziel's cheeks. "I can wait until you know for certain."

The look in Raziel's eyes told him Raziel knew far more than he himself did, and he chose to trust that. He kissed Raziel slowly, deeply, and rolled his hips forward again and again. It was both a celebration of Raziel's return and sweet promise of everything to come. The pleasure consumed Cole, and Raziel's plaintive, needy cries into each kiss, the bite of nails to his back, did nothing to cool his arousal.

He lost all sense of time as they moved with one another. It was as if the looks, the touches, the shared moans, all went on forever. Cole's pulse sped, and pleasure rushed through him in waves. Tender and teasing as a soft caress one moment, and then toe-curling and unrelenting the next. He took Raziel to the greatest of heights over and over. When Raziel finally tensed beneath him and cried out a strain of angel song, he couldn't help but fall with him. He snapped his hips forward, buried himself deep inside Raziel as brightness consumed him. The climax was filled with the echoes of Raziel's musical cries, and as the tempest of light and sound faded, he smiled breathlessly.

Raziel's breath puffed against the skin of his neck, and he released his hold on Raziel's spent cock. His fingers trailed over Raziel's hip and thigh before his strength was sapped from him, and he collapsed atop Raziel. A soft fluttering purr from Raziel made his chest ache, and he closed his eyes as he caught his breath. The feeling in his gut was undeniable, and it reminded him of what he had felt when he had settled into living with Daniel. But it was so much more, so much deeper than he remembered feeling in the past. It frightened him nearly as much as it excited him. His hands even started trembling as he let himself slip from Raziel's body and shifted them onto their sides.

"So much going on inside," Raziel whispered, as if he could still read Cole's mind. His eyes were so knowing that it nearly brought a blush to Cole's cheeks.

"You know what I'm thinking? What I'm feeling?" Cole murmured.

"No," Raziel admitted with a little chirp, "but that's why it's important for you to share now."

Cole combed his fingers through Raziel's hair. "I barely know you," he said. "I spent a day in your company, a hazy night making love, and then you were gone. How can I feel so much for someone I've known for so short a time?"

Raziel smiled at him, leaned into his touches. "Because you _do_ know me. I've been here all along, that quiet voice in your head. I know you, and you know me. You know I'll never leave your side."

"Never?"

"Never," Raziel swore, such seriousness in his eyes.

Cole peppered kisses over Raziel's cheeks and lips, whispering, "I love you."

Raziel twittered happily, pressing close, a perfect weight in Cole's arms. "I love you, too."

Holding Raziel close, Cole basked in everything he'd gained. He still had a great life with the perfect job, a wonderful home, and he'd survived the loss of someone he'd never dreamed of living without. The hole Daniel had left him with would linger, but he had a good feeling that Raziel would help stitch that wound over time. He smiled into Raziel's hair, hugging him close. Time was something he was once again looking forward to having a lot of.

The End


End file.
